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([personal profile] the_rck May. 26th, 2017 02:49 pm)
It's very frustrating that Scott set aside a day for me because of my birthday and all I can do is lie down with a hot water bottle pressed to my belly. And that's after taking naproxen to deal with the cramps. I know my body needs this, but my last period was in October. Couldn't this have happened last week? Or next week?

I finally stopped sneezing and such around 11 this morning. The key when this happens is for me to dehydrate myself which kind of freaks out people who are trying to take care of me. Most of the time, drinking more water is good when I'm sick, but this particular thing won't stop until I dry out enough.

I slept badly last night. Part of that was the runny nose (I didn't even try to use the c-PAP), part of that was the cramps, and part of it was different parts of my body wanting different temperatures. My upper body was cold, but I had to keep moving my feet out from under the blankets and shifting around to find cool spots on the bed for them. Sadly, no cool spot ever last more than about four seconds.

I took a cab to my appointment yesterday and then took the bus home afterward. I probably should have either taken a cab home or waited for Scott to pick me up. I almost missed my stop due to just completely spacing out with exhaustion. I did a little bit of walking around and playing Ingress after my appointment. I'd probably have done a little more, but Cordelia's after school meeting got canceled, and she was worried about where I was.
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([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed May. 26th, 2017 06:30 pm)

Posted by Not Always Right

High School | Tucson, AZ, USA

(Due to an unexpected number of absences, I decided to push today’s lesson back to the next day so a couple of the students are kicking a ball around the front of the room.)

Me: “Don’t break anything.”

Student #1: “We’ll try.”

Me: “That’s the wrong answer.”

(A few minutes later they start discussing what would happen if they hit me with the ball.)

Student #1: “Well, she didn’t say not to hit her. She just said don’t break anything.”

Me: “Yeah, and if you hit me, you’ll get broken.”

Student #2: “So… not a good idea.”

The post Your Plan Is Broken appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Posted by TheJourney74656

(I have gotten into work and am going through a sequence of doors, each requiring either a code or ID to unlock. I see a woman behind me carrying a large box and decide to hold the door open for her.)

Me: “I’ll keep the doors open for you.”

Coworker: “Umm, excuse me?”

Me: “I said—”

Coworker: “I don’t need a man to hold a door open for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I thought I would help, otherwise you would have to put down the—”

Coworker: “Get your male privilege out of my face!”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I let go of the door and walked away. The rest of the journey through that corridor was me opening one door and seeing her struggle to get through the last before closing it.)

The post One Door Closes… And That’s It appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed May. 26th, 2017 05:30 pm)

Posted by Not Always Right

Forest | ON, Canada

(I’ve never particularly liked having my photo taken — mostly because my parents always insist on taking way too many of them and often force me and my siblings to stand for the same picture multiples times. As a result, I usually get frustrated and annoyed pretty easily by this. One year, my parents and I take a holiday and one day we decide to go on a bike ride through the woods. During this trip my dad has already taken around 10-15 photos of us. Since we have haven’t seen each other for a while I’m pleasant at first but I’m beginning to get annoyed. We stop by a lake to relax.)

Dad: “[My Name].”

(I look up to see he’s beckoning me for a picture; I shake my head immediately.)

Me: “Dad, can we not do pictures now? I just want to relax.”

Dad: *jovially* “Aww, don’t be a grump. Come have a picture with your Mum!”

Me: “Can we please do this later? I’m little tired right now.”

Dad: “Oh, don’t be such a baby! Come for one picture.”

Me: “Dad, you have lots of pictures already. Why do you need another right now?”

Dad: “Look, just come and have ONE PICTURE!”

Me: “No! I just want to enjoy the view and relax right now.”

Dad: *shouting* “STOP BEING A BABY AND COME HAVE A PICTURE!”

Me: “I’m not the one throwing a temper tantrum here!”

Dad: “For God’s sake! It’s a simple picture. What the h***’s the matter?”

(Finally my mum chimes in; even she has grown sick of this.)

Mum: “Look, just leave it, okay? Clearly he doesn’t want to do one!”

Dad: “He needs to stop being a baby!”

Mum: “I said LEAVE IT! You have plenty of pictures; now stop acting stupid!”

(My dad walks away from us. A few moments later I see him very indiscreetly trying to take a picture of me!)

Me: “DAD, KNOCK IT OFF!”

(He was very quiet and grumpy the rest of the ride. Later that day he tried laying into me about my ‘poor attitude’ and how my acting like this ‘won’t get you anywhere.’ I just cut him off mid-flow asking why on earth he insisted on making such a big scene and acting like a child when I clearly said no? Quickly he dropped the subject and didn’t mention it again. I know it’s a good thing to have someone who loves you enough to take your picture, but in my parent’s case, it’s like overkill.)

The post Not A Picture-Perfect Family appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Posted by Not Always Right

Hotel, Restaurant | Belfast, Northern Ireland, UK

(I’m serving breakfast in our hotel to a guest. English isn’t his first language, but he has been with us a few days and has been very clear up until now.)

Customer: “I’ll have the omelette, with mushroom and tomato. No eggs.”

Me: “…”

(He seemed to enjoy his fried tomato and mushroom though.)

The post When An Omelette Is Not An Omelette appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Posted by Not Always Right

School | CA, USA

(I’m waiting for my parents to pick me up and using a coloring app on my phone. I’m coloring a Japanese geisha, so I give her dark hair, white and red makeup, etc. While coloring, I can feel the eyes of the girl behind me, but I ignore her, as she’s not being particularly annoying — until I finish.)

Me: “Ooh! Pretty!”

Girl: “Why is she so pale?”

Me: “Well, she’s a geisha. Her face is white because geishas wore white face makeup, and her hands are pale because she’s Japanese.”

Girl: “Wow, so you’re racist AND you’re assuming THEIR gender?”

Me: “…what? I’m coloring HER skin based on her culture, not my preferences, and I’m calling HER a HER because geishas were female.”

Girl: “THEY could have dark skin!”

Me: “No, SHE, as they were SHEs, and no, drag queen geishas sound awesome but didn’t exist, would not have dark skin because geishas held pretty fancy positions in a society where noblewomen and men had pale skin. Geishas represented beauty, and pale skin was beautiful! I believe people of ALL skin colors can be beautiful, but I’m trying to be historically accurate in this drawing!”

Girl: “Oh, so now you’re even more racist because you accepted their oppression against dark-skinned people.”

Me: “What?! First of all, this is ANCIENT JAPAN! I wasn’t ALIVE to accept or revolt against any kind of ‘oppression.’ Second of all, again, it’s ANCIENT JAPAN and the only people with ‘dark skin’ were farmers who were tanned from working in fields. Darker skin was seen as undesirable because the profession of farming was seen as undesirable. And, by the way, don’t bother saying anything else, because I won’t listen. The only thing coming out of this conversation is a headache and lost faith in humanity, so blabber all you want. I’m not paying attention.”

(The girl ranted for about five minutes until she got the message and shut up. Honestly, though, don’t try to advocate for issues if you don’t know what it means. Giving a geisha pale skin isn’t being racist!)

The post Some People Are Just Looking To Be Oppressed appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed May. 26th, 2017 04:00 pm)

Posted by Not Always Right

Office | UK

(I am being interviewed for a job which requires you have a certain level of security clearance. I assume they need to be thorough.)

Interviewer: “You have dual citizenship with Canada. Why is that?”

Me: “My mum is Canadian.”

Interviewer: “But, why Canada?”

Me: “I just said—”

Interviewer: *leaning over the table* “But, why CANADA?”

Me: “I didn’t have a choice! I was three weeks old!”

Interviewer: “Oh, that’s okay, then.”

Me: “…”

The post Blame Canada! appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Posted by TheJourney74656

(My fiancé and I go to a well-known coffee chain before church, and we’re waiting in line. Somehow the discussion turns to chocolate.)

Fiancé: “So, my mum got us some chocolate for later on today. It has little rainbow bits in and I think it will be nice for us to have!”

Me: “Oh! Okay. I was gonna finish my chocolate buttons from last week.”

Fiancé: “Oh, right… I ate those.”

Me: “…you ate my chocolate buttons?”

Fiancé: “But we still have the rainbow choc—”

Me: “But you ate my chocolate buttons. I was looking forward to finishing them.”

Fiancé: “But we have this chocolate this afternoon so it’ll be fine.”

Me: *pouts* “You ate my chocolate buttons.”

The post You Know How To Push My Chocolate Buttons appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Posted by Not Always Right

Movie Theater | Newport, KY, USA

(While working in the concession stand, I unfortunately get an unwanted customer in my line. Once or twice a week, he comes in and starts an argument with whoever is working concession so he can get free food and/or tickets from the manager.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “ICEE.”

Me: “Large or small?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “We only have two sizes. Large or small?”

Customer: “Medium.”

(I know exactly where this is heading and I am already getting frustrated.)

Me: *holding out the two cup sizes* “Do you want the 30 ounce or the 44 ounce?”

Customer: *now with an arrogant smirk* “Medium.”

Me: *setting down the cups rather forcefully* “All right, look: I’m back here alone because I’ve got two concessionists out with the flu. There are nine people in line behind you and in less than half an hour, we’ve got a 260-person rental group coming that I will not be able to prepare for. I don’t have the time or patience to deal with this stupid scam you run every time you come in. Now either place a real order or make way for someone who will.”

(He said something back to me, but I couldn’t hear it. The people in line behind him were applauding me. Like most scammers who get called out on their crap, he was extremely angry and spoke to the manager before he left. While I did get in trouble for my outburst, it was worth it; he never came back again.)

The post Don’t Need To Consult A Medium To Know This Is A Scam appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed May. 26th, 2017 02:30 pm)

Posted by Not Always Right

Home | Atlanta, GA, USA

(My sister and I are very close, but lately we haven’t had any time together to just chat without the husbands and sons around. We are sitting in my living room, just catching up, and having normal conversation about nothing in particular and have finally cracked the code for personal time. My husband walks in and sits down.)

Sister: *without missing a beat* “…and so I’m reasonably sure it’s not related to my period…”

(Husband walks out.)

Me: “Yeah, it works every time. So you were saying?” *normal conversation*

(Her twelve-year-old son walks in.)

Me: “…so you don’t think that any of this could be related to your menstrual cycle?”

Sister: “No, it’s been normal flow and consistency…”

Son: “Okay, I’m out of here.”

(Her son RUNS out; normal conversation resumes; her husband walks in again.)

Me: “…well, PMS can cause that if you recently…”

(Her husband walked out. We were not disturbed again!)

The post Only Periodically Interrupted appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

Posted by Hanz2006

(My fiancé and I are browsing at a local furniture store for a new bed. This particular store showcases their furniture in different styles, such as a sofa and entertainment center would be set up in a living room style. We are walking past the section where all the office desks, filing cabinets, and other related items are. When I pause to tie my shoe, I notice a woman with a gallon of water.)

Lady: “Don’t tell anybody I’m doing this, okay, hon?”

(She then starts pouring water into the fake plants.)

Me: *flagging down the nearest employee* “Excuse me, but there’s a woman in the office section trying to water the fake plants.”

Employee: “Oh, shoot! How’d she get back in here?” *radios the security guard* “Hey, Andy, Mrs. Francis made her way back in. Can you come escort her out?”

Me: “She’s been here before?”

Employee: “Yes! She’s a local who believes our fake plants are real, so she tries to water them. There are other stores who have fake plants, but she seems to be extremely fixated on the ones we have here.”

(At this point, the security is holding onto the screaming woman’s arm.)

Security: “Mrs. Francis, we’ve already told you. Those plants are fake, and you cannot bring liquids into the store. It will damage the wood!”

(Suddenly the lady sees me standing there and she narrows her eyes at me.)

Lady: “You! I thought you were a good person! You ratted me out, you dumb b****!”

Me: “I’m sorry…”

(As she’s pulled away from the store, I can hear her screaming:)

Lady: “You’re all plant murderers! Not only do you cut down trees to make your furniture, but you starve those poor plants to death! Shame on all of you! I hope you get choked to death by my dangling vines!”

Fiancé: “Well, that was interesting. I wonder what she meant by ‘my dangling vines’?”

Employee: “That’s nothing compared to what she did or said on Arbor Day.”

Me: “What about Earth Day?”

Employee: *shudders* “You don’t want to know, and I don’t want to remember.”

The post Planting A Seed Of Crazy (Video) appeared first on Funny & True Stories - Not Always Right.

musesfool: Robin and Starfire (Teen Titans animated) (a star between our hands)
([personal profile] musesfool May. 26th, 2017 02:30 pm)
Generally speaking, I either am totally overprepared for something because I'm freaking out about every little detail, or I completely leave it to the last minute/do it by the seat of my pants, with very little in between, so since I am bound and determined to not fuck up this co-op application process, today I have:

1. gotten a letter from my employer verifying my employment and salary
2. lined up the recommendation letters from people who are not related to me
3. filled out as much of the purchasing application as I can at this moment (since it's been EIGHT YEARS, I had to google to see if any of my old bosses from Big Evol MegaCorp were still there and at least one is - he can direct them to HR to verify my employment if necessary)
4. freaked out a little about my previous landlord, as he is dead and therefore cannot be contacted! But the lawyer was like, there's nothing you can do about that, just put that he is deceased. I mean, I haven't lived there in 15 years so I don't know what the point is anyway, but it's required. *hands*
5. left a voicemail with my current management company asking for a letter verifying my tenancy - I'm afraid this is going to be like pulling teeth and will never happen and will spike all my plans, but dammit, they are professionals and should at least respond on Tuesday (I didn't expect to hear anything back today since it's the Friday before a 3 day weekend).
6. e-signed several documents which all have to be updated since there were typos in the address of the place I'm buying. (The typo was perpetrated by the seller's lawyer, which doesn't fill me with confidence, I must say.)

I'm sorry this is all househunt17! all the time! at the moment. It's basically all I am thinking about, except when I am thinking about how to get Lucy and Wyatt to have sex, and aside from like 3 of you, I doubt anyone is much more interested in that than this, though that might be a little more fun.

At least it is a 3 day weekend and summer Fridays start today! I'm meeting L for celebratory drinks later, and my sister is having a BBQ on Sunday (well, it might be an indoor party if the weather doesn't cooperate, but it'll be fun either way), and my oldest and youngest nieces will be celebrating their birthdays, so it's all good.

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