*nod* yeah, mental tail spins are bad and not to be encouraged, although knowing them in advance...

And I get what you mean by squick. It isn't always something bad, or gross, but it can be good but just uncomfortable, or too good -- too real -- for you to stay in the fictional frame of mind. I'm that way non-con. I do enjoy non-con (although in my head it's more 'forcing someone to enjoy it') in certain (fictional!) situations, and a good writer can make me squirm like crazy.

But I've read a lot of 'non-con' that were just out and out rape (in my head, there's a difference; I have a weird head) and sicken me, even if they still turn me on. I mean, okay, some of it's just bad. But some of the good stuff... I want to like it, I want to find it hot, but there are too many things that come from my head and my experiences and my own beliefs that trip me up.