kaizoku: (Default)
( Mar. 4th, 2010 08:58 pm)
When you see this, post a poem on your journal.

Regarding Chainsaws
by Hayden Carruth

The first chainsaw I owned was years ago,
an old yellow McCulloch that wouldn’t start.
Bo Bremmer give it to me that was my friend,
though I’ve had enemies couldn’t of done
no worse. I took it to Ward’s over to Morrisville,
and no doubt they tinkered it as best they could,
but it still wouldn’t start. One time later
I took it down to the last bolt and gasket
and put it together again, hoping somehow
I’d do something accidental-like that would
make it go, and then I yanked on it
450 times, as I figured afterwards,
and give myself a bursitis in the elbow
that went five years even after
Doc Arrowsmith shot it full of cortisone
and near killed me when he hit a nerve
dead on. Old Stan wanted that saw, wanted it bad.
Figured I was a greenhorn that didn’t know
nothing and he could fix it. Well, I was,
you could say, being only forty at the time,
but a fair hand at tinkering. “Stan,” I said,
“you’re a neighbor. I like you. I wouldn’t
sell that thing to nobody, except maybe
Vice-President Nixon.” But Stan persisted.
continue reading )
kaizoku: (Default)
( Feb. 25th, 2010 08:57 am)
Passing is perhaps the central component through whether trans lives are considered ‘successful’ or not, and as such it is the central component of trans oppression. It is the part of our lives always up for debate in public, and by which cis people mark trans individuals as ‘other.’ I’ve written about this before, as a response to the cis belief that places self-erasure as trans people’s greatest fantasy, and my attitudes about passing remain the same: Passing is a system used by cissexist cultures to control trans people, to ostracize, and to justify violence perpetrated against them. Although passing is presented as a trans endeavor or desire, the truth is it is a system for cis people to identify trans people and to alert other cis people to their presence.

Just trying to work my brain around the concepts in this blog is showing me how much internalized transphobia I have. Part of that is that this culture is totally cissexist and we all get a great, heaping dose of it. And it is also that I grew up trans(sexual) in an earlier era -- the late '90s was when I was really involved, when I was on the mailing lists, when I was figuring myself out. I read Kate Bornstein (problem #1?) and Leslie Feinberg. We were thinking, synthesizing and growing, but still, passing as primary goal was the centerpiece* of our discussions, our struggles, our advice to each other. Turning that upside-down is really good but... disorienting.**

And I can that see this analysis, this questioning of transphobia, is starting to break down the walls to exactly what we wanted, the utopias we were envisioning but didn't know how to get to.

On a less personal level, it's got really good pointers for cis folks.

* On the trans youth mailing list, at least. Not so much on the Sphere list.
**And it makes me feel old.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Jan. 6th, 2010 12:20 am)
Flying home tomorrow! The great San Francisco adventure comes to an end.

Whoa, Tết falls on Valentine's Day this year. That's kinda neat. I'm feeling very New Year-oriented lately. How many times can you celebrate the New Year in one year?! Since I keep trying to start over and clear my slate, it feels appropriate.

My main New Year's resolution is to keep a journal (on paper.) But I'd also like to do some weight-training and try to gain muscle mass, continue exploring religious/spiritual avenues, help [personal profile] manach more with keeping the house clean, build something for the cats to climb, get chest surgery in May or June, keep in touch with friends, and fulfill some fannish and RL promises (ideally I'd like to get these done before Tết.)

Also, sleep more. Sleep = less acne, which would be of the good.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Dec. 23rd, 2009 10:56 pm)
I'm not sure I'm quite ready to be a quarter century old, but I am pleased about my continued survival.

Today I finished reading this Trans Jew zine (link death, noes!) that was written ten years ago. Found some strange parallels: Wanting new language. The new language of then is old language now. He was 26, I am 25. Similar thoughts, wishes, wants, but diff identities. Ten years ago I thought of myself as a boy, which maybe is why I don't now (I'm not a boy anymore, even if I'm still trying to grow facial hair.) Emerging from dark years into dark days, a festival of light.

I like the image of sewing on the cover. My fingers hurt. Also, I am tired.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Dec. 21st, 2009 09:12 am)
This is pretty dang cool! My top choice is the NJoy, that thing is gorgeous. *shivers*

FetLife, with the help of our incredibly generous advertisers, are giving away 217 presents this holiday season worth, in total, $24,287... and we want you to win one of them!

What kind of gifts are we talking about? We have fucking machines, corsets, whips, rope, canes, jewellery, collars, art, TENS units, straight jackets, play piercing kits, floggers, you name what kinky item you have been lusting over for the longest time and there is a good chance we are giving it, and many other things away, to 217 lucky kinksters as a thank you for your support this year.

Are there any catches? Not at all, just tell Santa what you want for the holidays and if you have been naughty or nice and he will see what he can do.

kaizoku: (Default)
( Dec. 14th, 2009 09:16 am)
Glee Holiday Mix Exchange happening here! Deadline to sign up is tonight. :-)
kaizoku: (Default)
( Nov. 22nd, 2009 11:32 am)
Oh Jesus, where does the time go? I meant to post about Transgender Day of Rememberance and about the murder of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado (he was decapitated, dismembered and burned.)

I also wanted to pass this on:

Sylvia Rivera Law Project opposes the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act

The recent expansion of the federal hates crimes legislation has received extensive praise and celebration by mainstream lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender organizations because it purports to "protect" LGBT people from attacks on the basis of their expressed and/or perceived identities for the first time ever on a federal level. The Sylvia Rivera Law Project does not see this as a victory. As an organization that centers racial and economic justice in our work and that understands mass imprisonment as a primary vector of violence in the lives of our constituents, we believe that hate crimes legislation is a counterproductive response to the violence faced by LGBT people.

I don't support hate crimes legislation, not the way it will be implemented in our current legal system. We need justice. We need to not keep quiet. There are forces and people trying to keep us invisible and keep our deaths invisible - that is one thing that the language of "hate crimes" has helped with; it has put the emphasis on the motivation of the person who committed violence, instead of on the identity or actions of the victim. But it also hides certain things. Lopez Mercado's alleged murderer claims that he acted out of the trauma he endured in prison, which may be another version of the twinkie defense, but it is indicative of the intersectionality of racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, nationality, etc. There's a Facebook group calling for the murder to be classified as a hate crime, which would ensure that the defendant is jailed for a longer period of time. We need to stop acting like prisons are the answer. They will not make us safe.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Oct. 13th, 2009 03:02 am)
Is anyone doing a link round-up of Coming Out Day posts? If so, please tell me where. I would do it but I'm totally swamped. (I checked http://linkspam.dreamwidth.org/ but it's on hiatus after Lambda.)

I have AWESOME AWESOME news but I'm gonna wait til the morning when I'm not exhausted to post about it. :D
kaizoku: (Default)
( Oct. 4th, 2009 11:36 pm)
Totally random question: Who still uses one of the old Livejournal site schemes? I still use XColibur. How many years has it been since they changed it? I will probably never change.

Not-so-random question: People who write (fanfic), how do you write? Do you just get the urge and DO IT? Or do you schedule yourself writing time? Or do you sometimes just start writing and not stop except to eat, sleep and piss? Or do you get all excited about writing and then procrastinate and feed the internet instead?

Subject line refers to girl!cat. She is adorable and currently curled up in my lap. PREVENTING ME FROM TYPING FIC. But that is okay.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Oct. 1st, 2009 04:22 am)
If I was a vengeance demon, this is where I would hang out:

[livejournal.com profile] iwish
Hey look, straight cis m/m authors showing their asses! Because my life totally needed more rage in it.

My favorite thing to come out of this so far is the discussion between kynn and elfwreck here. Kynn is just so damn incisive, it is awesome to behold.

Anyway, I know whose books I won't be buying!

ETA: More linkage here (and part 1 which links to early discussion.) Also specifies some authors and reviewers, which may be useful for DNW lists.
Polybigbang is still looking for mixers/artists for two stories - one is Bleach and the other is Torchwood. The claiming post is here on DW and here on LJ.
I watched Merlin 2x01 and wrote down my moment-by-moment commentary. It's ridiculously detailed and silly! Come squee with me if you're not squeed out yet! Though I should warn that mockery is how I show love. I'm one of those annoying people who will MST3K their way through a whole movie.

SPOILERS, AHOY. But only for the first ep.

Comment fic, spoilers for 2x01, slashy PG, 280 words )
kaizoku: (Default)
( Sep. 25th, 2009 12:53 am)
Fellow media fan and trans man [livejournal.com profile] boi4eliza has his first album coming out! You might remember James from those incredibly catchy bandom songs that he wrote and sung himself: OTP, Pint-sized Romeo, and Boy in the Trucker Cap. The album is a mix of acoustic and rock, and what I've heard so far sounds awesome!

James is also planning to put all the profits from the CD towards his chest surgery. In case you don't know, in most places insurance companies won't cover surgery that trans people need to transition. Despite this, it's often impossible to legally change your gender without having had surgery.* Insurance companies defend this practice by saying it's only "cosmetic surgery." But for many trans men this is an essential medical procedure in order to live their lives fully, without (or with less of) the despair and distress of body dysphoria, the pain of daily binding, and the fear of not passing. For a singer - someone who makes a living from their voice - it's even more freeing.

So far, James has had a hard time getting his announcement into both trans and bandom communities. If you can help with this or just pass on the word via your journal, that would be amazing.


If you're in the States, [livejournal.com profile] jarrow is doing a mass shipping order: GO HERE IF YOU WANT FREE SHIPPING AND YOU'RE IN THE U.S.

Finally, to give this a little boost, if you comment here and say you want a copy of the CD, I will put your name in a hat and WHOEVER I PICK OUT OF IT WILL GET A FREE COPY, care of me. Awesome, y/y? The deadline to put your name in is Monday September 28 at midnight EST. (And this one goes for anyone, whether you live in the States or not. Please also leave your email if it's not easily findable.)

*I don't know exactly what James' situation is wrt insurance and legal stuff (and it's not my place to ask) but nearly all trans people face huge obstacles to getting surgery. I think this is unjust and believe that trans people should try to support each other's attempts to pay for surgery whenever possible.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Sep. 18th, 2009 11:14 pm)
We went to synagogue for the first time ever (excluding b'nai mitzvah) today. A friend of mine is leading the High Holiday services. The singing was great!

In other news, I has internet at home now! Lately I've been reading Zorro by Isabel Allende and considering which fandoms to nominate for Yuletide this year (not that nominations are open yet. I just want to not miss it this year!) So far, I'm got the Bartimaeus trilogy, Wicked Gentlemen, The Grounding of Group 6 (if I can get a copy of the book by then), Milk (2008), One Flea Spare (READ IT! OMG) and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992 movie.) Also, Tipping the Velvet, but I think that's a shoe-in.

FriendsorEnemies just sent me a welcome message... what? 6 months after I tried to sign up? Fail.

A happy and sweet new year to you all!
Grimoire of the Necronomicon by Donald Tyson

From the review:
"Fans of Lovecraft now have the opportunity to reliably and safely get in touch with the Old Ones and draw upon their power for spiritual and material advancement." [Emphasis mine.]

SAFELY? Safely get in touch with the Old Ones?


Missing the point? JUST A LITTLE.

By the way: Great Old One Reference Table. Wikipedia is WIN.
kaizoku: (Default)
( Jul. 23rd, 2009 11:33 pm)
Dancing at Lughnasadh, BRB.


kaizoku: (Default)


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