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I was up all night and finally went to bed for an hour this morning and ended up having a seriously weird/disturbing dream. It started out with my family at a open-air market and me compulsively buying chocolate. It was really weird because I'm not a compulsive shopper *at all* - but I kept forgetting that I'd already bought chocolate and buying more and suddenly I had four or five packages - a whole box of truffles and a chocolate bar and a bag of fudge things and various other goodies, and I'm thinking "What the hell did I do?" I was so embarrassed that I was desperately trying to hide all the chocolate in an undersized basket thing that was really only intended to hold the truffles. Eek.
So then we get wherever we're going on and I'm unpacking the car when my mom tells me that someone is waiting for me. I go back to the car and a friend of mine, with whom (in reality) I have gotten out of touch, is sitting in the car. Yet somehow I just keep unpacking the car, hardly paying her any mind. I think this was the dream of not being able to control my actions despite feeling horribly guilty about them...
Eventually I do talk to her and we end up going to where she's living. Now I have to explain that this friend of mine has been a bit unstable. She suffers from depression, has been diagnosed as bipolar and has PTSD. We were friends for about a year and a half, and then she moved out of the area, and then was institutionalized around October of last year for a few months. I kept in contact with her by email through part of that period and was going to go visit her but it ended up not working. It was kind of weird though because I guess they were doping her up pretty heavily and she had had a crush on me, so she kept sending me these really intense emails and saying she loved me... I know that this really doesn't matter in the scheme of things and things were really hard for her there, but I felt very uncomfortable about it, especially because it mirrored a previous friendship and I knew already that I didn't want to be in a relationship like that again. Ergh. So anyway, in the dream, we go to her house and there's a lot of other people living there, as well as animals. My friend goes off to do something and I end up talking to some of the people, all of whom are very nice and seem just a bit... off. So I figure she's living with some other people who have mental issues - and I can understand wanting to do that. And here's where things get REALLY weird - there was a big pool, like the above-ground kinds you see in people's backyards, in the middle of the kitchen. At one point two people got into it and were swimming around. I was also warned that the pool was somewhat delicate and not to do anything that would pierce the "skin" of it. So, I'm pouring myself some milk and one of the dog/cats is following me around. I think the dog/cat then started talking to me. Either out of surprise or just random clumsiness, I did *something* - though I think it was just spilling milk and suddenly I hear a commotion behind me. I turn around to find water spilling out of the pool. At first I think it's just some water overflowing - maybe I accidentally knocked something into it? - but it keeps coming and then I see the hole. I try to plug it with my fingers and that works fairly well, but the water keeps draining out. The two people bathing (a man and a woman in their 30s or 40s) are confused, asking me what's going on and there's a hint of blame, which I can't help feeling guilty about even though I can't see how anything I did could have triggered it. The water has dropped a bit by now and eventually the couple stops asking me questions and strips off their bathing suits for a final naked dip before all the water runs out. All I see is their bathing suits floating in the water and their naked butts going under. :-)
After that, another guy who lives in the house comes over and we converse. He kind of gets in my personal space but I sort of figure that's par for the course. Then he tells me we should go over to wherever my friend is going. We drive over together and he keeps asking me silly questions which he takes completely seriously. Then there's this crazy pick-up truck which keeps going very fast and passing us, and then slowing down completely. This is because it's some kind of new technology, powered by breathing or something like that, only it's not very well-developed yet so they keep having to stop to "recharge." (That part was pretty funny actually.) Suddenly we come to an accident scene, complete with police cars and flashing lights. We're actually able to get very close, and I have this feeling of dread that it's going to be my friend. And then it is. There's a whole bunch of people on the ground, bruised and bloodied, right next to a bus (that evidently crashed.) I think I see my friend on the ground and at first I think she's dead but then I see them lifting her and others up into what looks like an ambulance, so I start thinking maybe she's not dead. Only all the bodies were mostly naked with sheets, so maybe they *were* dead. But somehow I convince myself that she's just injured. The guy from the house manages to get through the police and over to the people on the bus. I'm left - with a bike instead of a car now - and I ride back slowly, looking over my shoulder.
Thank you so much for that, subconscious.
ETA: I just feel asleep for another couple hours and had a much nicer dream involving the SGA team stealing a great honking ship from the US military/SG. And by ship I mean water yes. Although I think it might have been an Ancient ship. There was a soundtrack too: Me and the Major by Belle and Sebastian. I'd really like to see a vid to that someday... hint, hint. ;-)
So then we get wherever we're going on and I'm unpacking the car when my mom tells me that someone is waiting for me. I go back to the car and a friend of mine, with whom (in reality) I have gotten out of touch, is sitting in the car. Yet somehow I just keep unpacking the car, hardly paying her any mind. I think this was the dream of not being able to control my actions despite feeling horribly guilty about them...
Eventually I do talk to her and we end up going to where she's living. Now I have to explain that this friend of mine has been a bit unstable. She suffers from depression, has been diagnosed as bipolar and has PTSD. We were friends for about a year and a half, and then she moved out of the area, and then was institutionalized around October of last year for a few months. I kept in contact with her by email through part of that period and was going to go visit her but it ended up not working. It was kind of weird though because I guess they were doping her up pretty heavily and she had had a crush on me, so she kept sending me these really intense emails and saying she loved me... I know that this really doesn't matter in the scheme of things and things were really hard for her there, but I felt very uncomfortable about it, especially because it mirrored a previous friendship and I knew already that I didn't want to be in a relationship like that again. Ergh. So anyway, in the dream, we go to her house and there's a lot of other people living there, as well as animals. My friend goes off to do something and I end up talking to some of the people, all of whom are very nice and seem just a bit... off. So I figure she's living with some other people who have mental issues - and I can understand wanting to do that. And here's where things get REALLY weird - there was a big pool, like the above-ground kinds you see in people's backyards, in the middle of the kitchen. At one point two people got into it and were swimming around. I was also warned that the pool was somewhat delicate and not to do anything that would pierce the "skin" of it. So, I'm pouring myself some milk and one of the dog/cats is following me around. I think the dog/cat then started talking to me. Either out of surprise or just random clumsiness, I did *something* - though I think it was just spilling milk and suddenly I hear a commotion behind me. I turn around to find water spilling out of the pool. At first I think it's just some water overflowing - maybe I accidentally knocked something into it? - but it keeps coming and then I see the hole. I try to plug it with my fingers and that works fairly well, but the water keeps draining out. The two people bathing (a man and a woman in their 30s or 40s) are confused, asking me what's going on and there's a hint of blame, which I can't help feeling guilty about even though I can't see how anything I did could have triggered it. The water has dropped a bit by now and eventually the couple stops asking me questions and strips off their bathing suits for a final naked dip before all the water runs out. All I see is their bathing suits floating in the water and their naked butts going under. :-)
After that, another guy who lives in the house comes over and we converse. He kind of gets in my personal space but I sort of figure that's par for the course. Then he tells me we should go over to wherever my friend is going. We drive over together and he keeps asking me silly questions which he takes completely seriously. Then there's this crazy pick-up truck which keeps going very fast and passing us, and then slowing down completely. This is because it's some kind of new technology, powered by breathing or something like that, only it's not very well-developed yet so they keep having to stop to "recharge." (That part was pretty funny actually.) Suddenly we come to an accident scene, complete with police cars and flashing lights. We're actually able to get very close, and I have this feeling of dread that it's going to be my friend. And then it is. There's a whole bunch of people on the ground, bruised and bloodied, right next to a bus (that evidently crashed.) I think I see my friend on the ground and at first I think she's dead but then I see them lifting her and others up into what looks like an ambulance, so I start thinking maybe she's not dead. Only all the bodies were mostly naked with sheets, so maybe they *were* dead. But somehow I convince myself that she's just injured. The guy from the house manages to get through the police and over to the people on the bus. I'm left - with a bike instead of a car now - and I ride back slowly, looking over my shoulder.
Thank you so much for that, subconscious.
ETA: I just feel asleep for another couple hours and had a much nicer dream involving the SGA team stealing a great honking ship from the US military/SG. And by ship I mean water yes. Although I think it might have been an Ancient ship. There was a soundtrack too: Me and the Major by Belle and Sebastian. I'd really like to see a vid to that someday... hint, hint. ;-)
